New Diagnosis for the New Year

A lot of people have been wondering how my doctor appointment went yesterday, and I suppose that it went so-so.

The good news is that my organs are not damaged, which we feared was what was happening recently. They are doing good and working how they're supposed to at the moment. I also did not develop lupus due to my undifferentiated connective tissue disease.

The bad news is that I have been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (thanks to my undifferentiated connective tissue disease and my genes). Rheumatoid arthritis, is where the body's immune system attacks its own tissue, including joints. In severe cases, it can attack internal organs. The inflammation associated with rheumatoid arthritis can cause bone erosion and joint deformity.

Although rheumatoid arthritis can't be cured (along with lupus, fibromyalgia, and many other diseases), with the right treatment it can go into remission. So, as of Monday, I will be taking a medication called methotrexate.

Methotrexate comes in a pill or an injection. I've chosen to try the pill because I don't think that I could ever injected myself with anything (I'm a huge baby when it comes to needles, even after all this time). So, let's hope that the pill works.

It is a scary time right now because methotrexate is chemotherapy. I won't be taking as high of a dose as cancer patients, but it's still chemotherapy. There is a chance of nausea (but I already experience that), vomiting, ulcers in the mouth and nose that may bleed, and hair loss.

I'm going to try and stay positive, but I'm still scared. If this medication doesn't help, there are others, but most of them are injections and more toxic than methotrexate.

The way that my doctor described these medications is that plaquenil is the "first step" and the least toxic. Sulfasalazine is the "second step" and more toxic. Methotrexate is the "third step" and will be the most toxic of my medications. I hope that I don't have to go up anymore "steps". But she also explained that those three work really well together.

Now, some people may be wondering about medical marijuana and unfortunately with my illness and the lack of studies supporting treatment for my illness, my doctor feels safer with the medications that I have been currently prescribed. Which is kind of a bummer because I was really hoping to get off the toxic medication. So, doctors better start putting studies together.

Also, I've had many people say things as "at least it's not cancer" or "you could have it worse" or "you should be more grateful." Please, just don't. I am plenty grateful and I don't take things for granted. Am I angry that I'm sick? Hell yeah! Do I wish that I (or any other person experiencing this) wasn't sick? You betcha! But DON'T EVER say any of the above mentioned statements because it diminishes my suffering when I (and every other person out there) am allowed to be upset. Also, if you feel inclined to tell someone with a debilitating chronic illness that "at least it's not cancer" just don't. Walk away if you have to, because not only is my body destroying itself, I'm on some of the same medications as some cancer patients. I may not be the "right kind of sick" but I am still sick and I would like to deal with this without having to explain myself.